John J. Prendergast

Nonfiction, 2019 |189 pages

When someone I care about buys a book for me that they have read, I pay attention.  I figure they are either sending me a message (!) or sharing something that brought them joy.  So, I read The Deep Heart slowly and intentionally this weekend.

I found Prendergast to be a particularly poor writer.  He shares many random thoughts that never quite build to a conclusion.  His thoughts are based on his own ideas and experiences, with no research and little corroborating evidence from other professionals.  And his orientation is the medical model, that of a psychotherapist.  He assumes we need to be fixed, that we are broken, traumatized, unhealthy in some way.   He doesn’t leave much space for those who are not traumatized or have done significant personal work.  This may be a useful and helpful orientation for some readers.  However, I have been a coach for nearly 25 years.  Coaches start from a very different foundation.  We assume everyone is whole, complete, resourceful, creative, healthy, and simply want to add spice to their being, or plant new flowers to bloom, or enliven some aspect of their lives that may have deadened.

He claims most people don’t know if they have core limiting beliefs.  Seriously?  Have his clients been totally unaware of their hearts and emotions?  Have they never been introspective or done any work on themselves?  Yes, some of his perspectives made me stop and think.  I particularly enjoyed his embedded meditations.  I completed each one as I read.  I love the sense of being held by an awareness, a presence of heart (chapter nine).

Deep Heart?  It remains an elusive construct to me.

Thank you, Thom, for this gift.  I love the spirituality that you have brought to our relationship.  I suspect Prendergast offers insight and clarity.  I would love to hear.

October 2021

Charlotte McConaghy

Fiction 2021 | 258 pages

A wolf biologist named Inti leads a rewilding project in Scotland to re-introduce wolves into the wilderness of the highlands.  She are her silent twin sister Aggie move there from Alaska, bringing with them so much pain and trauma, the reader cannot helped but be deeply touched.

Of course, it is complicated.  The local farmers and ranchers fear for their livestock.  They hate and are compelled to kill the wolves.  The animosity between Inti and the locals, who have been on this land for centuries, can be vicious and violent.  And yet, the work Inti is doing is so needed.

A completely fascinating and complex character, Inti has Mirror-touch Synesthesia, a rare neurological condition.  She experiences, she feels, what the other feels.  If you stub your toe and she is looking at you, her toe hurts.  If you are thrown from a horse, she feels the sharp pain in your arm and butt.  If you are tenderly kissed, she experiences that in her lips.  This is an unimaginable existence.

Once There Were wolves is extremely hard to read.  Not that it is badly written.  Actually, it is beautifully written, with fine turns of the phrase, deep character development, and compelling content, including mystery. McConaghy manages not to platitudinize, and yet addresses a vital environmental issue.  It is difficult to read because it is dark, harrowing, depressing, debasing.  Humans and animals are murdered, as is the soul and spirit of Aggie (and Inti?)

I am so moved by this book.  Moved by how we humans have removed wolves and harmed the planet immensely.  Moved by the deep love between two sisters that is nearly incomprehensible.  Moved by the power and fortitude within us to kill when killing is necessary, and to love even when love is devastating.

As I state above, this is not an easy read.  And yet it is a powerful, almost necessary read.  I will watch closely for your comments.  Please read this novel, which is overflowing with truth, and tell me what you think … and how you feel.

(I think it is Rynda I must thank for this suggestion; one of the Wise Owls, certainly.)

October 2021

Sara Nisha Adams

Fiction 2021 | 373 pages

The Reading List is a magical and beautifully written novel.  Another first-book success, IMHO!  The story revolves around a reading list of eight books, which finds its way into many hands and cultures in diverse modern West London.  It is a story about reading, and discovery, and taking risks, and imagination.  The list impacts many different people, whose paths cross as the book list is somehow shared.  The list often appears magically.  We don’t know how it arrives in the back of a shoe cartel in the temple or blowing in the wind on a London street.  But we see it weave its way to just the right people at just the right time.

The main characters are Mukesh and Aleisha.  Mukesh is recently widowed with three grown daughters and three grandchildren.  He has never read a novel; spends most of his time watching nature documentaries.  Aleisha is a 17-year-old young woman who has taken a summer job at the local small library in their town of Wembley, outside London.  These two become each other’s greatest support.  Can you imagine?

The Reading List Is poignant, and very engaging.  I read it in less than a weekend.  It is organized by the books in the order the books are read.  Many authors I have recently commented on could learn something about character development from this new writer, Sara Nisha Adams.  I feel as though I know Mukesh, his granddaughter Priya, and Aleisha personally.

No question in my mind … get your eyes on this book as soon as possible!

Here is the reading list:

To Kill a Mockingbird

Rebecca

The Kite Runner 

Life of Pi

Pride and Prejudice 

Little Women

Beloved

A Suitable Boy

October 2021

Will Schwalbe | Nonfiction, 2012

327 pages

Tenderhearted.  I searched Google for the right word … I think this comes the closest.  Will Schwalbe casually asks his mother Mary Anne what she is reading, as they await one of her first appointments with her oncologist.  Mary Anne has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  This mother and son had often talked about books, but now the circumstances presented themselves and the conversations became more important.  More essential.  They establish a two-person book club and read many books together, typically discussing them while Mary Anne receives her chemo treatments.

Does that sound maudlin?  Well, it isn’t. It is a loving story of two people communicating over a shared passion. And Mary Anne is a fascinating person, having worked with refugees for most of her life and intent on securing funding for a library and mobile van libraries in Afghanistan before she dies.

You must love books to enjoy this book. I was concerned that the books they chose might be obscure, or all about cancer, death and dying. But they choose a wide range, from Stieg Larsson to Wallace Stegner to Karen Connelly to Kabat-Zinn.  The way in which Schwalbe describes key messages and awareness from the books, and how he and his mom agree, disagree, and learn … you do not need to have read the books.  I have read many, but certainly not all, of what they choose.  AND you may be drawn to certain books, because of the conversations they have.  Personally, I ordered from the library The Price of Salt (which they both read lightning fast), The Reluctant Fundamentalist (they fought about the ending), and Harold and the Purple Crayon. (And, about children’s books, I loved to hear them recount the family disputes about Tolkien vs CS Lewis.)

I can recommend this book to book lovers.  There is not a strong “plot” …. you know that they will keep reading until Mary Ann dies … but you may find the inner workings of this “book club” as tender and as interesting as I did.

October 2021

Kate Murphy

Nonfiction 2019 | 276 pages

Journalist Kate Murphy writes about listening in many venues.  I was expecting her book to be about interpersonal listening, and it is, but she also addresses the wide range of listening and non-listening in our world, from news reporting to social media to political agendas to cell phones at the dinner table.  She addresses the benefits of listening and the price we pay for not truly listening.  She talks about intimacy, information, leadership, power.  It is a broad and deep exploration into the art of listening.  I appreciated, for example, her description of the shift response and the support response … a critical clarification in many relationships.

This is another book that will guide you to take what you need at this moment in your life.  In a few places I choked up, as I saw mistakes I make in listening, and what it can cost.  You may find similar moments.  Unfortunately for me, this book arrived just as a very important relationship in my life was dissolving, guess why?  In part, because we were unable to navigate the challenges of true, consistent, deep listening.

Murphy interviewed many as she researched this book, professors to politicians.  I particularly enjoyed her comments about one of my favorite interviewers, Terry Gross on NPR, and how she has perfected the art of listening. (My absolute favorite interviewer is Dave Miller on Talk out Loud, at noon and 8 PM on Oregon Public Broadcasting radio.  He, like Terry Gross, makes every interview sound like an intimate conversation, not a form of questions you might fill out in a doctor’s office).

Listening is not something we can mark off on a checklist as complete.  Circumstances, relationships, the environment, the style and voice of the other, intellect, one’s ability to laugh, articulateness, silence, eye contact, family history, personal emotional and physical pain or health, use of language, distraction … there is a plethora of circumstances that effect listening.  We, each of us, are always learning and (hopefully) refining our ability to listen, and the depth of our listening.  Listening is where growth is.

I recommend this book, even if you think you don’t need it.  It is an easy read, humorous at times, and thought-provoking.  I promise you will “hear” something that speaks to you about your own listening, and be grateful for what you heard.

Thank you, Jen, for this wisdom over watercolor!

October 2021

Jodi Picoult

Fiction 2020 | 413 pages

Dawn was on a path to become an Egyptologist, until that career was swept away as she cared for her dying mom.  With a radical shift to another part of her being, Dawn became a death doula instead, gracefully supporting individuals as they journey on their last path on earth.

We travel back and forth between her sudden return to Egypt, 15 years later, to explore and understand what she left behind: Egypt, the ancient tombs, the exploration, her dissertation, and Wyatt; and her present-day life with her husband Brian and daughter Meret. We also travel in time back and forth.  I found the time travel easy to follow and not jarring.  It is a nod to parallel universes.  “What if...”

Dawn’s most important death doula client during the time of this book is Win, a lovely and brilliant woman who shares Dawn’s birthday exactly and is married to Felix.  Win’s final request of Dawn is to help her write, and to deliver by hand, a letter to the man she loved before Felix.  This is a tale about how past loves effect, impact, perhaps destroy, sabotage, or corrupt current loves.  Win’s love for Thane and Dawn’s love for Wyatt wreak havoc in their hearts.  The story is painfully close to home for me.  Sobering.  Sad.  Full of grief.  Perhaps too real.

Picoult tells us a LOT about Egyptology, the history of Egypt, the gods and burial practices and tombs and hieroglyphics.  At first, I was a bit overwhelmed with how much knowledge she was imparting.  But over time, her explanations began to settle in me, and I gained appreciation for their importance.  Picoult also explains in considerable depth what a death doula is, a rather new profession she elucidates for her readers.  Through Dawn’s eyes, we gain an appreciation for the role of the doula, and the intense commitment she makes to her dying clients.

I recommend this Casting Crew Book Club read suggested by our own death doula, Marian.  Another hard-to-put-down Jodi Picoult.

October 2021

S.A. Crosby  |  Fiction

2021, 319 pages

Sometimes you’re just not in the mood, you know.  The murder was too brutal, the language too savage, the characters too dark. A review on NPR calls Razorblade Tears a “visceral full-body experience.”  The story line … two gritty fathers attempt to discover the murderer of their two sons, who were married to each other … sounds compelling.  I just don’t have the heart for this bleak of a novel right now.

October, 2021

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Stacey Abrams

Fiction 2021 | 384 pages

Avery Keene is a law clerk for the legendary Supreme Court Justice Howard Wynn, who, in a series of moves that surprised and floored most everyone in the know in Washington DC, he put himself into a coma and left directions appointing Avery as his guardian.  And then this 26-year old brilliant woman begins to unravel the series of chess-relevant clues that Wynn left her, about why he was in a coma; about an international bio-genetics conspiracy; and about an engineered genetics-based drug intended to kill Muslims and which actually killed prisoners in tests, implicating Homeland Security and the U.S. President. This is a legal and political thriller, and thrilling it was!

A fast, compelling read, Ms. Keene and her small entourage of co-discoverers are well-developed characters.  Abrams is a surprisingly potent novelist. Yes, this is the Stacey Abrams who is a political powerhouse in Georgia.  This is not her first novel!

The series of clues were often convoluted and difficult to decipher.  And confusing.  But our main character makes sense if it all, understanding symbolism and metaphor, searching for facts and truth, and being exceptionally strong in character and compassion.

A great read (with an appropriate double-meaning title) on a beautiful autumn weekend. I recommend While Justice Sleeps.

October 2021

Jonathon Haidt

Nonfiction 2012 | 419 pages (includes 101 pages of notes, etc.)

An astounding read!  This book answers the simple but essential question: Why don't we all get along?  Published in 2012, it does not address the Trump era specifically, but the knowledge and insight hold today.  The confounding mystery of how good people can be SO divided as we are today in our political world is finally explained.  What Haidt has to say is very revealing.  We are divided by our different moral compasses ... moral foundations, he calls them.  And none are bad.  No one is foolish or idiotic.  And, in fact, the right, which has a broader moral compass than the left (conservatives subscribe to more morals) is much better at navigating these differences than the left, who are more tightly focused on just a few moral principles.

In The Righteous Mind, moral psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains why liberals, conservatives, and libertarians all have different understandings of right and wrong. (He also applies his works to the religious and non-religious.) We have different moral frameworks.  He argues that moral judgments are emotional, not logical—they are based on stories that evolve in our lives, rather than reason. Consequently, liberals and conservatives lack a common language, and reason-based arguments about morality are ineffective, leading to political polarization.

The Righteous Mind builds this argument on three basic principles:

• Morality is more intuitive than rational.
• Morality is about more than fairness and harm.
• Morality “binds and blinds” us.

No surprise ... I read a few reviews, most of which are either five star or one star!  You will love or hate this book.   Whatever you think of his proposal, Haidt gives us a framework for looking at why we differ so much, and for, perhaps, being less judgmental about those who seem to reach some very different conclusions.

My only criticism of the book is that Haidt labels theories and ideas by the name of the professor or clinician who has researched and published.  So, the theories bear names like “Kant, Shweder, and Durkheim.”  For a lay person like myself, not familiar with these professorial researchers, I would have comprehended what he was saying if he labeled the theories descriptively and didn’t call them by the researcher’s name.  I could not remember who said what about what.

For the first 100 pages or so, I was in the place of “Huh.  I am smart, but I am not sure I understand what he is saying.”  But I was definitely intrigued.  And so I kept going, and he really did make sense of it all for me.

I think this book is REQUIRED reading, not just a recommendation.  Many thanks to wonderful artist and watercolor teacher Suze Woolf (I have two of her paintings over my guest bed) for this inspired read.  (https://www.suzewoolf-fineart.com/)

(p.s.  I was delighted to learn how the terms "left" and "right" came about! See pg 277)

September 2021

Mark Manson

Nonfiction 2016 | 212 pages

What a surprise this book is!  Yes, it is hilarious, especially in the early pages.  And yes, you must become comfortable with the word “fuck” because you will read it or hear it A LOT.  But what totally surprised me is how much wisdom Mark Manson shares.  This short read is chock full of insights, fresh perspectives, and thought-provoking questions about how we choose our values and live our lives.  I will not tell you what you will learn from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, because it feels like Manson is speaking to us individually, one to one.  You will learn from this book what you need to learn, assuming you are open to hearing his perspectives and wisdom.  And he makes it quite easy to do just that, with short sentences and humor.  I unequivocally recommend this read!

September 2021